Dear Ultimate
- Bailey Wu
- Oct 23, 2021
- 8 min read
For those who don’t know me very well, Ultimate Frisbee is a sport that has been a big part of my life in the past few years.
With the pandemic putting Ultimate events on pause, I wanted to go down memory lane and revisit my relationship with the sport.
High School Ultimate
My first exposure to Ultimate as a sport was in high school. At the time, Ultimate was merely a student-run club where a bunch of kids would get together after school on Fridays to throw the disc around and play 5v5 if there were enough people. There was no coach, no team dues, no uniforms, just some high schoolers and a disc.
One day someone invited me and a couple of my friends to check out the club and we headed over to the field after school on Friday. Some of the experienced players were already there, throwing barefoot and goofing off which presented an informal atmosphere. But at the same time, they were throwing and catching the disc in ways we've never seen before, which was slightly intimidating. It was obvious that we were noobs.
While that first session seemed intimidating at first, I remember having a good time learning the sport and being interested in something I had never seen before. My friends and I kept going every Friday and we gradually became hooked onto the club. And I don’t think it was Ultimate that got us “hooked”; it was the club itself that got us hooked.
It was the atmosphere of just hanging out and having fun playing this new activity together. I credit the senior class for creating such a welcoming space, making it competitive but not too aggressive. And camaraderie of learning this new activity together.
I remember I wasn’t able to throw a flick for the longest time. It wasn’t until one of the seniors took the time to throw with me after one of our pick up games and give me some advice. My flicks came out all blady but during that throwing session I threw it flat and something in my head just clicked. All it took was just someone to throw with me for a few minutes.
And not to sound dramatic but learning that flick would eventually change my Ultimate career.
Some posts from our Ultimate Facebook Group to show how committed I was
Almost
College Ultimate
Like many Ultimate players, my involvement in Ultimate really took off in college.
—
For anyone considering playing ultimate at a university level, college ultimate is by far the most rewarding ultimate experience you’ll have. You practice 3-5 times a week with the same people for years. You eat meals together, party together, do homework together, go on long car rides to tournaments, learn each others backgrounds. You go through life with your teammates on and off the field and you see how much work you all put in throughout the year.
There comes a point where there is no next year, no opportunity to give it another go with your best friends, and the emotionality of ending your season knowing that you may never play with some of these people again is something you don’t really experience at other levels of the game. The finite nature of college ultimate also naturally lends itself to a sense of urgency and buy in that can be hard to find at other levels. Regardless of the season, you’ll make some of your best friends playing college ultimate and that in and of itself is unbelievably rewarding.
Throughout my four years of playing Ultimate at UC Santa Barbara, I've been able to travel to the most random places in the country, make life long friendships, and build my confidence as an individual. From being the nervous freshman to becoming a vocal senior captain, the program gave me the opportunity to grow as a person. My teammates and I were able to carry the legacy of a historical program that is The Black Tide and continue building the Ultimate community within Santa Barbara.
I have no regrets on how my college ultimate experience went but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have moments of doubt. There were moments when I wasn't sure if it was worth investing the time and energy. Sometimes I wasn't sure if my teammates were truly my friends.
But overall it was a way to decompress and challenge my time management skills...
[Turn this paragraph into more of a happy tone....beauty within the struggle]
"River quote by Curtis Worden"
Photo of Seniors
Post-College Ultimate
After graduating UC Santa Barbara and realizing my college ultimate career was over, I wasn't ready to give up ultimate yet. Fresh off my senior year, I played for pro teams and club teams where I joined a new community of players, alumni, etc.
On these teams, I quickly realized that my role was different to the Senior captain role that I just stepped away from. I went from Senior Captain to bottom of the totem pole. I went from playing every other point to earning my playing time at practice. This was no different than what I went through as a freshmen at UCSB.
Playing Ultimate post college has been a surreal experience. I've been able to step on the same field as my coaches and favorite alumni. I've been able to compete against players who's Callahan videos I've watched over and over before games.
Ultimate post-college has also taught me
In college, you're conditioned to dislike certain teams from team history. But I've realized that many players set aside these rivalries after college and in hopes to achieve a certain goal.
Dear Ultimate
So while Ultimate is on pause, I want to write a letter to Ultimate, as if it was a person.
You
Part of me feels in debt to you, for giving me the best friends and experiences I could ever have. I truly believe you are a sport that has so much to offer.
[Coaching aspect]
But another part of me feels like I don't owe you a damn thing. I've learned some flaws within your system [College being a misrepresentation] and reality that comes with mixing money and sports.
Burn out - Rookie of the Year curse [Footnote]
Burn out of bruised body
Why is this team so Asian
I could do without the drinking culture
I've been able to see players fortunate enough to walk away from this game with their body still intact. But I've also seen players who unfortunately can't say the same.
Going forward
I plan to continue playing ultimate but I don't want it to be my everything.
Unlimited ceiling
I don't want Ultimate to be my life and I hope that is okay.
I want it to be okay to take days off from Ultimate - to explore other parts of life that I want to improve on. Or to catch up with people I
I want to treat
I want to continue coaching because it does give me great joy seeing others enjoy ultimate. But I hope to see the communities expand across all people (race, ethnicity, income, etc.)
There is still a lot more work to do on that front.
Sample text
[Talk about burn out] - Investment of time
Ultimate has its flaws
[Coaching - Giving back]
Ultimate
[Returning to Ultimate with a new perspective that Ultimate doesn't have to be everything] Use it as a my social circle, way to stay in shape,
[College of Photos]
Sections:
-Brief disclaimer Intro
-High School Days
-College Experience
-Post College
-Pressure/Reflection
[Intro]
Disclaimer - this is a very long article so I understand if you do not read all the way through but it's something that has been on my mind so I felt like I need to let it all out.
My first time ever playing Ultimate was in 10th grade. It was after school on a Friday and some of my friends were playing so I decided to tag along and just hang out.
Towards the end, I remember one of the seniors took the time and threw around with me to work on my flick. He was patient with my terrible throws but I seemed to gradually get better by the end of the day.
Ultimate was simply an activity I enjoyed learning and playing with my friends. Friendship is the primary reason, Ultimate was the secondary
The College Days
The next year I would go off to college at the University of California, Santa Barbara. One day as I was walking to the dining commons, some people were throwing ultimate outside on the lawn. Amidst all the new faces and new life, I came across something very familiar - the ultimate disc. I threw around with someone wearing a jersey and once there were enough people, we'd eventually play a small 4v4 pick up game. At the end, I was given a flyer to come try out for the university's club ultimate team.
When I showed up, there was a sea of people.
The weeks go by and I continued to show up with little expectations. I decided to skip a Tuesday practice and when I show up the following Thursday. When I showed up, I noticed the team was divided into 2 teams: one had all the vets who were talking and leading the drills while the other had many fresh new faces that I noticed in the dining commons. I realized they had split into their A and B teams on Tuesday, and I figured I trot to the B Team side of the field. As I was warming up with the B Team, one of the A Team captains approaches me and tells me to come join the A team practice. A little confused, I dropped my disc and headed over.
-Nationals run
-Over the years
-Questioned my commitment to Ultimate
-Long segment about Senior year and being a captain
-When did this team get so Asian?
-Talk about the pressure of being Rookie of the Year - Crying in front of Laddy
I remember how much that Nationals run meant to me as a first year, I just wanted to give that feeling to the rookies on my team.
Post College Days
-Playing at an elite level - Back to the Rookie Totem pole
-Playing against the Callahan videos
-Traveling to San Diego
-Connecting with San Diego Players & their community
-Understanding the rivalry is more of a SoCal community
-I could do without the party/drinking culture that comes with ultimate (Lei Out)
Covid Epiphany
-Ultimate has been my identity for years - It's given me long lasting friendships and opened doors for me that I am forever grateful for ultimate
-
-But one thing that Covid has taught me when it put many communities, including the ultimate community, on pause, is that I don't want ultimate to be my only identity. I've come to realize that while Ultimate has given me a lot in the past few years, there is a lot of sacrifice that goes into being a part of this sport. Financial cost, travel time, physical body ailments on Monday morning, are just to name a few.
-With a lot of my close friends in Ultimate community, I feel a pressure to continue playing Ultimate - I've come to realize that this is not a very genuine way of appreciating the sport
-Hitting burnout
I guess my point is that
-By playing this sport, we players have always understood the time that we've sacrificed to playing Ultimate. Time that could be spent towards exploring new communities, working on relationships, etc. - and I guess with Ultimate having been such a big part of my life and identity, I went through the motions like I was expected to do all these things Ultimate related. But now I've realized that I have the choice to decide how much of my identity and time I want to spend toward playing Ultimate. I completely accept the fact that by taking a step back and playing less Ultimate and playing against lower level teams, that I give up the opportunity to compete at a higher level. But I honestly don't aspire to be the best Ultimate player, I could care less about my individual accomplishments. I want to grow the sport and I think there are ways to doing that besides just playing ultimate.
- I truly believe Ultimate is a great sport for accessibility reasons - you really just need a disc, some cones, and some interested players. The disc and cones part are easy but it's the interested players
-I've come to realize at this point of my life that I enjoy growing the sport through coaching and trying to offer my time to younger players that just need someone to be patient with their flick throws.
-Understanding of the systemic flaws of the Ultimate community in the U.S.
- I've felt this constant pressure to play ultimate which has caused burn out - a
I felt like I have never been playing for myself. I've been playing so I don't let people down.
Rookie of the Year pressure -
- I wouldn't change a single thing and I have no regrets of anything but I've learned a lot about myself and
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